I'm kind of sad because I haven't seen inappropriate shorts man in a long time. He used to be there every Tuesday to make my day just a little more exciting. I can only assume he was run out of town by the "Citizens for Full-Length Pants" mob. It's happened before.
Speaking of the gym, did I ever tell you the story about the scary weight machine repair? I was on the elliptical, minding my own business, when a man arrived towing a lot of equipment, ostensibly to repair one of the weight machines. The one that was about 6 feet away from me. Well, apparently this repair required metal grinding. The guy gets out a scary looking rotating wheel tool, and as soon as he touches it to the machine, sparks start shooting out at least 12 feet.
I'm bopping along, singing "My booty's too bootylicious for ya babe!" ohmygod HOLY SHIT THERE IS FIRE SHOOTING AT ME! It gets better. After the metal grinding, the dude gets out welding equipment. You know, a really bright torch and a huge face mask to protect his eyes from the damaging brightness. Um, excuse me? Can I have a mask please?
Because seriously, he starts welding right in front me, and I'm trying to avoid looking at the bright light that could possibly permanently damage my retinas, and THEN the entire gym starts filling with toxic smoke. It was Saturday afternoon! There were people there! But I didn't want to seem like a wimp, so I just moved to the furthest-away treadmill.
And don't even get me started about the girl running on the treadmill wearing flip-flops.
